28 April 2009

Blues Clues

I consider myself a healthy person. Physiologically. My mental health has not been tested.

I eat right. Infinitesimal junk food in my diet. I exercise. I socialize.

But but, I have had the blues for quite some time. It was pretty bad about 3 weeks ago but since I was about to get my period then I thought it the usual part of pms. Period over yet I still have the blues. "That's not right" me thought.

Yesterday I woke up with a pain at the back of my left head and neck, which lasted I think the entire day. I was thinking, "Man, am stressed again!" Then this morning the left side of my face and neck went numb. You know the sensation when a dentist gives you anesthesia? That's how my left face and neck felt. Large and numb. I got worried.

Went to the clinic. Good there's a doctor. She tested my eye reflexes, I think. You know, when they ask you to follow a point just with your eyes... checked my blood pressure, heart rate, asked questions.

She said there might be some slight irritation in my nerves (the kind that affects physiology not like irritating people about.) It could easily be corrected with Vitamin B Complex. But but, she also suggested I see a neurologist. It could be NEURALGIA.

Looked up the condition. I thought not.
Looked up symptoms of Vitamin B Deficiency:

DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THESE SYMPTOMS?

mental problems (huh?)
heart palpitations (check)
heart arrythmias
fibrillation (check) - eyelid, thumb, fingers, toes
indigestion
chronic fatigue
chronic exhaustion (check)
paranoia, vague fears, fear that something dreadful is about to happen
nervousness
ADD (attention deficiency), inability to concentrate (check)
irritability (super check)
feeling of uneasiness
thoughts of dying
easy agitation, frustration (check, check)
inability to sleep (insomnia) - (hahahaha)
restlessness
tingling in hands (check)
tingling fingers and toes (check)
rashes
crying spells, inability to cope
soreness all over (check)
and so much more (like dizziness?)

''It is easier to be angry than admit that you are unhappy.'' That was a line by one of the patients in the series, House.

Sidebar: Pogi ni Gregory House no? Kakakilig!

I was thinking that might be what is happening to me. And of course thinking that precipitates other negative thoughts like being ungrateful for what I've got, feeling like a chronic complainer, chronic cynic, etc.

So I guess after 2 weeks with VitB I'd get back to the old me. Still irritable (lack of sex you see) but not unreasonably so. That was meant to be facetious.

Doesn't the body chemistry amaze you? Amazing.

Random Thought: No voices in the head yet...

21 April 2009

Talking Heads

Finally got a copy of one of my favorite books. >big smile here<





It's a collection of monologues by Alan Bennett. A series in BBC. Got the paperback.


A friend lent me a hard copy years ago and I just liked it so. The copy I read had pictures of the actors that played each ''head'', so that helped paint each character. I don't know if the copy I bought has pictures. No intention of taking it out of its plastic. Yet.


Anyway, why did I like it? To me it was so emotionally stimulating. I guess it touched my empathic nerves. >little laugh here< I remember crying for a few days everytime I recall "Nights in the Gardens of Spain."


Sana the play gets translated to Pilipino like what they did to Vagina Monologues (which was fun but did not have much heart.) The book says so much about human troubles. Me thinks. Haha!


Random thought: Boredom, how do I shake thee off?

12 April 2009

Bucket List

Kakanood ko lang ng Bucket List kagabi. Nakakaiyak.

Ang Bucket List ko ay:

1) Makapag sulat ng isang nobela.
2) Makapamasyal sa Rome at Greece.
3) Makapunta sa Egypt and Mayan Pyramids.
4) Makapag bungee jump.
5) .... to be continued....

Random Thought: Dapat matagal pa ako mamatay...

It is time...

Abey (4 years old): Tita, play tayo.
Tita Len: Kayo na lang baby. Watch ko na lang kayo.
Abey: Masarap mag play tita, exercise yun. Di ba ate Andee?
Andee (8 years old): Oo.
Tita: Kailangan ba mag exercise?
Andee: Oo. Lahat ng tao dapat mag exercise. Pag di sila nag exercise, di ma stretch mga katawan nila.
Abey: Oo.
Nathan (4 years old): Tsaka pag di ka nag exercise tataba ka. Papangit ka.

I would like to think that Nathan's words are the negative influence of TV. Sana...

Random Thought: A month to flatten the belly... kaya ko 'to...